Beforehand, her being playful with me was viewed primarily as an invitation to sex. Now it could now exist on its own.
I was liberated to enjoy the act of listening. Subsequently, she opened up physically and emotionally and I enjoyed being the emotional support a husband is supposed to be. Over time, my sexual needs became less singularly focused on the end goal of orgasm, and more focused on courtship and on her. Closeness, caresses and bonding took prominence over my desire to get off.
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I still wanted sex, but I was free from the dishonest dealings of my libido. I wanted sex as an accompaniment to intimacy, not intimacy as post-coital add-on. This distinction was huge.
Three Days of Torture in a Male Chastity Device - VICE
When the sex did come, it was better both physically and emotionally for us both. There were other benefits, too. She felt more entitled to her needs and filtered her words less. I used it when putting in the time to get my partner in the mood seemed like too much effort. When left without masturbation I sought other options. Intimacy with my wife in a reciprocation-free environment for her allowed her to ease into the enjoyment of it and allowed me to be a part of her pleasure without filtering it through my own.
Needless to say, that was a lot of fun for us both. If I was stressed, my new avenue was one that had always been there: I talked to my wife about it. She had great insights but mostly she just listened. The stress went away, and unlike the short-term benefit masturbation provided, I got longer term benefits like companionship, trust, vulnerability and reassurance.
I emerged from my two weeks with my masculinity intact, but a deeper understanding of what it meant to be her man. And we emerged a happier couple. He is a sex and relationships researcher and author. You can find our Community Guidelines in full here. Want to discuss real-world problems, be involved in the most engaging discussions and hear from the journalists? Try Independent Premium free for 1 month. Independent Premium Comments can be posted by members of our membership scheme, Independent Premium.
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I wore this male chastity device for a fortnight so you don’t have to
After, measure around your penis with a soft measuring tape and compare the numbers to get an average. Not all cages are created equal. There are, in fact, several designs to meet various needs or levels of play. It consists of a ring that goes around the testicles, a molded shaft and head section for the penis to go into, and a slit at the end to allow for urination.
A few have cages rather than slits at the end makes it easier to pee. There are also some gentler models that allow for the tip to be completely removed. METAL BARS — There are three ways to do this —rings running around the penis, bars running along the penis sometimes called Birdcage , or a combination which creates a square or web-like pattern. Another distinction between cages is how much skin they show and how much you can feel while wearing them.
FYI: There are also extra short-shaft or long-length designs for the gents that need it. The longer you plan on wearing it, the better ventilation it needs aka more skin showing through but still restricting stimulation. So, a partially closed model would be better for long-term wear rather than a completely closed design. How much depends on your personal preference — and if you need something discreet to wear in public. Make sure there are no extra bells or whistles that will show through your trousers like enormous locks.
Depending on the cage, you might not have a choice as to which lock you use. But no matter what, make sure you know how to get out of it in case of emergencies. Hinged cages are easier because you just open them, put it behind our balls, and close. The best sellers will offer custom cages based on your personal measurements. There are many shops out there, but these are a good place to start….
Forget Amazon, AliExpress, or other such distributors. First gently pinch a bit of scrotal skin at the bottom, pull it through the loop, and then push through the first testicle. Next, feed the next testicle through.
Bend the penis down and put it through the tube section. HINT: Some men like to use a bit of lube around the glands to help things go in easier. Water-based is best because it will dry after. Learn more important facts and tips lube Take a pair of knee-length stocking and cut the ends off one.
Feed the stocking through the cage so part of it is sticking out both ends. Put your penis in the stocking and close the cage. Slowly pull the stocking through the other end. Your penis should be pulled along with it. Before you decide to get into this kink, know that hygiene is paramount, and it requires daily maintenance — no ifs, ands, or buts. This is to avoid excess odor, bathroom residue, and infections. Dry it well and store it properly in a bag or box etc. Use warm water and soap anti-bacterial if you want to wash everywhere — in all nooks and crannies.
This might be tricky for the men that are uncircumcised, but you just have to learn your toy and find a way. After washing, you have to dry things completely!
What does make Holytrainer such a unique product ?
No exceptions. Try a fan or a hairdryer on cool setting. Also, use this time to inspect your body.
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Make sure there are no cuts, scrapes, irritations, etc. Buzzy and Clean! First, most men find it WAY easier and cleaner to sit down.